A seasonal complaint

Dear Restaurant Owner,
March in Ohio means that there are really nice days and some crappy days. If you have a patio, and the day is nice, can you please let me sit on it to eat? It has been a cold winter and I enjoy sunshine and warm temperatures. I do not believe that I'm alone in this desire.

If I can't eat on your patio, I will go to a restaurant that let's me use their patio. I'm not threatening you, I'm just letting you know what I'm going to do.

Respectfully,

The Goat's Stomach